(artists rendition)

The Sun announced today that it was a FACT that Eddie Murphy has signed on to play the Riddler in the next Batman movie. And in case your head hasn’t started spinning around yet, they also claim that Shia LaBeouf is cast as Robin and the movie ends with Bruce Wayne dying in an explosion.

In other equally believable and credible Batman 3 news that I just made up right now, Christian Bale is now being replaced by Jack Black, Christopher Nolan has handed over directing duties to Uwe Boll and they’re bringing back the Joker using CGI and old voice clips.

If you’re going to make stuff up, at least make it sound halfway plausible: Johnny Depp as the Riddler, Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the Penguin, these are the kind of things that we can stomach. Start telling us that Eddie Murphy and Shia LaBeouf are stars in the next Batman movie, and The Sun might find it’s headquarters mysteriously burned to the ground one day.