Before we start, let’s get something out of the way: I love hookers.  Whether she’s a crackhead walking the streets of Atlantic City, a high-priced whore that services politicians, or some free spirit trying to make some money while working at the Bunny Ranch, hookers contribute to society and deserve our love for doing so.  I can relate to hookers, too, as I have personally accepted money for sex.  I don’t see what’s so bad about it – I made some cash and I made someone feel better about themselves, too.  I didn’t appreciate him spitting on me and calling me “Shirley,” but that’s just part of the job.  In an homage to women who are part of one of our country’s oldest and greatest professions, here’s a look at the very best hookers in movies:

Heather Davis – She’s the One

What’s up with her? She’s got a pretty face, a great figure, and a gigantic mouth.  Plus, she’ll bang your dad.

Bangability (1-10): 8

Linda Ash – Mighty Aphrodite

What’s up with her? All she wants is a loving family, so watch yourself.  It’s probably not what you want if you’re going to hookers.

Bangability (1-10): 7

Sera – Leaving Las Vegas

What’s up with her? She’s adorable and loves dudes who like to get wasted.  Score!

Bangability (1-10): 9

Mandy Murphy – Any Given Sunday

What’s up with her?  She’s a smoking hot escort with a thing for older men.

Bangability (1-10): 9

Tina – Very Bad Things

What’s up with her? A little Asian girl who likes it rough.  Pretty much the perfect woman.

Bangability (1-10): 10

Holly Golightly – Breakfast at Tiffany’s

What’s up with her? Alright, so she may not just come out and say it, but this New York socialite is without a doubt a whore.

Bangability (1-10): 10

Vivian Ward – Pretty Woman

What’s up with her? She’ll love you for your money, but good lord, how about those DSLs?

Bangability (1-10): 8

Dakota Burns – He Got Game

What’s up with her? She’s probably too smart to be turning tricks, but the least she could do is pretend that she’s enjoying the sex.  Isn’t that part of the service?

Bangability (1-10): 7

Ophelia – Trading Places

What’s up with her? Great body, even better breasts, but the face is average at best.  She is cool, though, and her voice won’t make you want to slit your wrists.

Bangability (1-10): 6

Da Nang Hooker – Full Metal Jacket

What’s up with her? She’s not real hot, but for ten dollars, you’ll get everything you want.  Everything?  Everything.  She love you long time.

Bangability (1-10): 5

Lana – Risky Business

What’s up with her? She’s an aggresive older woman and an absolute panther in the sack.  Inexperienced dudes are her specialty.

Bangability (1-10): 9

Lynn Bracken – L.A. Confidential

What’s up with her?  She looks like movie star Veronica Lake and f*cks like a pornstar.  What else do you need to know?

Bangability (1-10): 10

Bree Daniels – Klute

What’s up with her?  In addition to having no gag relfex, she likes to solve crimes!

Bangability (1-10): 8

Cheryl Ann – Catch Me If You Can

What’s up with her?  Hot as hell and the dimples are adorable, but her accounting skills are pretty poor.  Play your cards right and you could wind up with a freebie.

Bangability (1-10): 9

Iris Steensma – Taxi Driver

What’s up with her?  Uh, she’s 12.

Bangability (1-10): 0

Rosie – Payback

What’s up with her?  She’s a bad girl who likes bad boys and big dogs.  My perfect match.

Bangability (1-10): 7

Mary – Total Recall

What’s up with her? Three breasts.  ‘Nuff said.

Bangability (1-10): 11

Your Mom – Some old videos I made while drunk

What’s up with her? I don’t know, but please tell her to stop calling my f*cking house.

Bangability (1-10) : 3