Dec 07 2008

Unreality’s Hero of the Week: Frank Castle

Published by Paul Tassi at 1:28 pm under Movies

punisher

Name: Frank Castle (The Punisher)

Movie: The Punisher: War Zone

Occupation: Self-employed

Interests: Revenge, murder, mayhem, explosions, turtlenecks, the propensity to star in movies that are laughable at worst and marginal at best

Dislikes: God,  Tom Jane, laughter, the mafia, villains who have the same name as other villains in vastly more popular movies (Jigsaw?)

Why he’s our hero: Poor Punisher, he does try so. He’s been in three movies now, each one hovering somewhere between hilarious and awful. Warzone leans more towards the humorous side, with so much over the top gore you’d think the entire thing was shot by Eli Roth on acid.

Sure, his new movie debuted in 8th place making only four million dollars, but it doesn’t matter. Money is for happy people! The Punisher is content brooding until someone decides to make another ill-conceived movie about him in a decade or so. After this latest one, I think that’s at least how long we’re going to want to wait.

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4 Responses to “Unreality’s Hero of the Week: Frank Castle”

  1. Jesse Andersonon 07 Dec 2008 at 8:11 pm

    The best in most things between good and evil!

  2. Normanon 13 Dec 2008 at 10:21 pm

    Actually Jigsaw has been a character in the Marvel Universe much longer than the villan from the Saw franchise.

  3. bigmikeeazy82on 20 Feb 2009 at 5:56 am

    That movie was so friggin terrible I would just once in my life like to see them get it right, if they would just mix the two most recent versions and set it in the late seventies when the original storyline took place it would be great, christ how do you screw up an movie bout an vietnam era ex-marine whos family was killed by the mob

  4. Maxcosetion 08 May 2009 at 12:12 am

    @bigmikeeazy82
    So you’re saying that not setting the movie in the seventies was what make Puniser movies fail. They are awful, awful in every single way a movie can be awful, and setting them in the seventies woudn’t have changed that in neither of them.

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