I think you can only make a slasher movie so good these days. This was exemplified best by this year’s The Strangers, which theoretically did everything possible right a slasher could do, yet it still came out seeming completely formulaic, despite the fact is one of the only horror films in recent memory that wasn’t a remake or a sequel. The same is true for the new Friday the 13th movie. Yes, it will look much better than the old one, but really, what if anything new is going to be brought to the table?

The trailer even has a sort of countdown, where the numbers tick away as Jason kills people. I’m just exhausted from these movies where there’s a group of kids misbehaving, and some masked maniac picks them off one by one. WE GET IT, TEENAGERS ARE RETARDED. The two best examples I can think of on how NOT to do this in recent memory would be High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes, but with Jason, I don’t think there’s a lot of wiggle room for innovation. Guy has machete. Guy kills everyone. The end. That’ll be $12.

Yeah, yeah. I’m still gonna see it.