I’m not sure how many of you follow Jean Claude Van Damme.  In fact, if you still do my guess is that you have major problems.  However, if you keep up with Cinema you’ll notice that Van Damme is starring in a new movie about…himself.  It’s called “JCVD.”

Van Damme bravely plays himself, an aging action-star whose B-list status has fallen so far down the alphabet that he’s losing roles to Steven Seagal. After a failed custody battle over his daughter, Van Damme takes refuge in his Belgian hometown only to stumble into a hostage crisis at the local bank. His cinematic moves are no match for real bullets, and to make matters worse, the police commissioner (François Damiens) and the gawking public believe he’s the culprit, not the victim.

This has Oscar written all over it.  OK, let’s get serious for a moment.  How badass was Van Damme back in his day?  You can’t deny that some of his movies, though while today would classify as unintentional high comedy movies, were awesome.

Here are 6 that I think are worth mentioning.  Oh by the way did you know he was uncredited in the classic breakdancing movie Breakin’?  How awesome is that?

If you think about it, Van Damme had an amazing run from 1988-1994.  It’s nice to see him back.

Bloodsport

This trailer kicks ass

Where it all began.  This movie combines every single element that I like in movies into one.  You’ve got action.  Great martial arts scenes all choreographed by Van Damme.  Great music.  How good is the song “Kumite?”  You’ve got a great sidekick in Jackson, AKA Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds.  And don’t forget that a young Forest Whitaker was in this movie.  Great training sequences.  You gotta love when he trains underwater and with a blindfold.  Great Villain.  Chong Li gave me nightmares for weeks.

And of course, the best line in the entire movie:  “OK USA!” as said by the goofy looking large Chinese Dude.   Plus that chick was kind of cute in an 80’s sort of way.

Kick Boxer

Possibly one of the best scenes in any movie ever.

This might be one of the funniest movies that’s not supposed to be funny of all time.  That scene in the bar (which is right above this sentence) when he gets drunk and dances is unbelievable.  P.S. the guy that played his brother might be the worst actor of all time.  Still though, this is far and away one of his classics.   I gotta be honest.  I’m not sure who’s scarier:  Tong Po or Chong Li.

Death Warrant

And here comes Van Damme entering the prison realm.  For me, it takes a lot to ruin a prison movie.  I’d say I’ve liked at least 90% of movies that contain prison scenes.  Does that make me gay?  OK. Let’s move on.  And let’s not forget how much of a badass the villain was in this movie.  His name was “The Sandman.”  Plus the dude that played him, Patrick Kilpatrick, was in one of my favorite action movies ever:  Remo Williams:  The Adventure Begins.   And you know who the chick is in this?  Cynthia Gibb.  Best known for being topless in the hockey classic Youngblood.  She’s also in Short Circuit 2.

Double Impact

This is where Van Damme really shows those acting skills playing not one, but two very homoerotic looking characters: Alex and Chad Wagner. Was anyone else attracted to that really muscular chick with that killer scissor grip?  I wouldn’t mind her putting me in a figure four.  In any event, Double Impact was definitely entertainingand it’s nice to see that Chong Li (Bolo Yeun) was in this one.

Time Cop

I’ve got two words: Bruce McGill.  He is one of mine and Madison’s favorite character actors.  This movie kicked ass.  And let’s not forget that you see Ferris Bueller’s girlfriend Sloan’s (Mia Sara)boobs in this flick.   Plus check out this tagline:  “They killed his wife ten years ago. There’s still time to save her. Murder is forever… until now.”  Classic.

Cyborg

I could have gone with tons of movies in this spot but of all the movies to choose from I think that Cyborg was the most cult classic of them all.  OK fine I’m really putting it in here because Van Damme’s character’s name was Gibson Rickenbacker.  That name far supercedes any name he had in any movie.  The lines in this movie are UNREAL.

*Honorable mention to Universal Soldier and Lionheart (if only because that black guy yells “Lionheaaarrrrt!”)

The Quest was just a crappy knock off of every other martial arts tournament movie.

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