Oct 29 2008
Realistically Casting the Gears of War Movie
Gears of War creator Cliff Blezinski appears to be slightly delusional when it comes to casting the upcoming Gears movie. Granted any game creator doesn’t want their pride and joy turned into a horrendous movie, but Blezinski should check with the guys behind Doom, Alone in the Dark, Dead or Alive and Max Payne if he wants to see how that usually works out. Here’s an excerpt from his IGN interview where he talks about casting the lead, the refrigerator-esque Marcus Fenix:
“Definitely not a wrestler. I think just go with a real actor…You know… like a Clive Owen type; somebody who can actually act and is incredibly charismatic. And they can put him on a workout plan for six months so he can build the muscle mass he needs.”
Overlooking the fact that Clive Owen would never be in a Gears of War movie even if you paid him all the profits from Gears of War 2, in order to build up the muscle mass required he’d most likely have to undergo some sort of experimental gene therapy, seeing that no living person has biceps as large as their head.So I thought I’d save you some trouble Cliff, and show you what your cast will probably look like unless by some miracle Warner Bros. gives you a $300 million budget and the Cohen brothers to direct. The caliber isn’t what you’d call “A-list” but hey, no wrestlers!Casting begins after the jump:
Marcus Fenix – Patrick Warburton
That’s right, Puddy. You get Puddy. He may have only had a handful of real roles over the years, but I’ll be damned if you tell me he doesn’t look the part. The constant squint, the set jaw, he’s got it all!
Dominic Santiago – Mario Lopez
Can Lopez act in a serious role? I mean, I never saw Pacific Blue, but I suppose it’s possible. It did however, take me about 19 pages of Google image results to find a picture of him where he wasn’t smiling like a jackass. He’s Latino and jacked, what more do you need?
Damon Baird – Paul Walker
Paul Walker can’t land a leading role unless it involves being frequently shirtless or driving cars with glowing neon lights underneath them. I’m sure he’d give a big “helllll yeah!” to the prospect of being the annoying blonde-haired Baird, because it’s not like he’s doing anything else. Wait, another one? Seriously?
Augustus Cole – Terry Tate
When casting the “large black man” role, everyone always turns to Michael Clarke Duncan, but I think he’s a bit out of our price range. Terry Tate on the other hand has the personality, the body and the pro-sports background to fill the blood-stained boots of the “Cole Train.” Can’t you just picture him sacking the shit out of a Locust?
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bottom two are good but i think there are better choices from Marcus and Dom for example Marcus could be played by Dominic Purcell and as for Dom im not sure yet lol
Wow Dominic Purcell is a really good call on that. He’d probably be pretty cheap too.
Warburton would be a good Felix… but Dom should be Danny Trejo, Baird should be Ron Pearlman, and Cole should be Terry Crewes… all cheap.
Mighty Rasta, the actor who plays Terry Tate, actually does the voice for Cole, so good call.
[…] It’s Ultimately a Bad Idea: Despite Gears creator Cliff Bleszinski wishing they would cast Clive Owen as Marcus Fenix, it ain’t gonna happen. The movie will probably be full […]
Terry Tate is an excellent choice for Cole since he is the actual voice actor for him.
Terry Tate is actually Lester Speight and as the above said he does the voice
Jason Lee Scott as Minh Young Kim.
ok so terry tate is goin to play cole. For Marcus Fenix you have to decide between Mickey Rourke(who has muscle build after his movie “The Wrestler”) or Dave Batista who has a tremendous build and has the skills needed. Paul Walker is a good fit for Damon Baird as they look almost exactly alike. For Dom Santiago you have to put serious thought into Dwanye Johnson aka The Rock. Thank You.
I was thinking Vinnie Jones or Dominic Purcell for Marcus, Ryan Reynolds or Sean William Scott for Baird, Jason Scott Lee for Kim, Micheal Jai White for Cole, Lee Ermey for Hoffman, and maybe Jay Hernandez for Dom (he might need to bulk up).
Micheal Jai White is the ultimate Cole Train as he is bulked up like crazy, and not only looks the part but has the bad ass voice too. Jason Scott Lee looks almost identical to Kim and if you need reference check him out oposite Kurt Russell in Soldier.
Would love to hear what you think of my choices.